Of Christmas Dreams and Nightmares
by Jackie W
Summary: What a difference a year can make
1. Christmas 2004

Title: "Of Christmas Dreams and Nightmares" 

Author: Jackie W.

Email:

Rating: PG

Classification: Holiday fic Season: 9

Spoilers: Up through Season 8's EndGame, and Threads Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret Productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment, not monetary purposes, and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognized characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead is coincidental and not intended by the author.

Author's Notes: Muse wanted to send you all the warmest of Holiday wishes. So she came up with something we are all wishing for.

My editors are all snug in their beds with visions of sugarplums dancing in their heads, so all mistakes are mine!

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Christmas 2004

It was the worst holiday Samantha Carter had ever had, and she'd had some doozies. But the events that unfolded during the days around Christmas that year would end up with her spending Christmas evening crying her eyes out in the arms of her Commanding Officer.

It all started on the morning of the 23rd. She and Pete were scheduled to fly to see her brother Mark and his family for the holiday later that day. Pete had told her he had a surprise for her, and wanted to leave for the airport early, and so four hours before their flight she was sitting in the passenger seat of Pete's car going over her mental list to ensure she hadn't forgotten anything. She barely noticed when the car stopped.

"Sam, we're here," Pete informed her.

She looked around to see they were in a residential area, parked in front of a modern looking house that Sam personally thought lacked any warmth.

"What do you think?" Pete prodded.

She looked at him in confusion. "About what?"

"The house Sam. I bought it for us. Merry Christmas!" Pete declared with a huge grin.

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And things went downhill from there. Sam had climbed back in the car without even taking Pete up on the offer to take a quick look around inside before continuing on to the airport. When Pete got in behind the wheel she stopped him from turning the ignition.

"Pete, why did you do this? Didn't you think that maybe picking out our future home was something we should do together? That I might have an opinion?" Sam asked in dismay.

"I wanted to surprise you!" he protested.

"Well you certainly succeeded." Sam said taking a deep steadying breath. She looked at the man seated next to her and thought about the whirlwind courtship and engagement they'd gone through, realizing that she'd only known him for nine months and that most of that had been long distance at that. She really didn't know anything about him. She'd only seen glimpses of him at work, and although on the surface he seemed like a good cop, she didn't know his friends, or any of the people around him that would be an indicator of the true depth of him as a human being.

What the hell was she doing? 

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Three hours later she was on the plane to San Diego alone, and minus one engagement ring. She didn't cry, in truth she was too numb at that point. She was met at the airport by her brother who was quietly fuming. He had obviously gotten a phone call from his buddy with a one-sided version of the events. Silence reigned until they got in the car, at which point Sam sighed.

"I don't suppose you want to hear my side of the story," she complained.

Mark relented at that. "Of course I do."

She told him about the house, and how upset she'd been. Like Pete, her brother didn't see the problem.

"Let me give you a piece of marital advice. Never make a major life decision that affects both of you without consulting your wife. It demeans your entire relationship. And in my case it pointed out that we were moving way too fast. If he didn't know me well enough to know that I would object to being left out of the decision making process then we are definitely not ready for marriage," Sam explained.

"But you are going to still see him, right?" Mark asked. "You can work on getting to know each other better and then get married."

"I don't know Mark. I honestly don't," Sam told him. In truth she had been having her doubts before that afternoon, but not wanting to get into an argument with her brother over this at the holidays she didn't want to just come out and say that she thought maybe she'd made a big mistake.

Unfortunately Mark wasn't satisfied with her answer and the nagging and questions continued through dinner and into the evening. Sam went to bed exhausted only to toss and turn all night, and get up the next morning tired and grouchy. When Mark asked if she'd at least call Pete and talk to him she snapped and told him that she wasn't going to be seeing Pete again except to tell him it was over between them and she didn't want to do that over the phone. 

Mark was livid at her treatment of his friend, and let her know it. Suddenly Sam was in the middle of another Christmas just like those right after her mother had died, when Sam had been determined to try to emulate the happiness of the year before, and her father and brother had been sullen and combative. It was going to be a long two days.

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The cold war was brought to an abrupt end by a phone call from the SGC. Sam got on the line and could instantly tell from Jack's voice that something was seriously wrong.

"Carter, it's your Dad and Selmak. They've been hurt bad. They managed to get here and we have them in the infirmary. You need to get back right away. There is a plane waiting for you at the San Diego Naval Base. They are expecting you," he told her.

She had the presence of mind to ask if Mark should come, too.

"Probably, but I'm not sure about letting him in to see Dad when he's all drugged up. It's your call. I can add him to the flight list if you want," Jack offered.

"Yeah. He can stay at my house until we know something," Sam suggested.

Within an hour she and her brother were on the plane. She explained that Jacob was in a secure facility and that she would be automatically allowed in, but it might take some time to get him clearance. Mark wasn't thrilled but nodded his acceptance.

"I'll send for you as soon as I get everything arraigned," she assured him as the car that had been sent to meet them dropped him off at her house. She didn't even bother to get out, just handed her brother her keys and had the driver continue on to the base.

Her team was hovering by the infirmary when she arrived and the Dr. Brightman had obviously been informed of her arrival because she came out to give her an update.

"He's hanging in there, but I need to warn you that both he and Selmak were severely injured. It appears that the symbiote is healing itself. Hopefully when it is recovered enough it can begin to heal your father. We just have to keep your father stable until that occurs," the doctor informed her.

"I could try using the healing device. I should be able to at least help stabilize my father while Selmak recovers," Sam offered.

Dr. Brightman agreed, and five minutes later Sam stood with Jack, Teal'c and Daniel around her and felt the warm glow of the device begin to do its work. Dr. Brightman was watching the monitors and nodded in encouragement. By the time Sam stopped, Jacobs vital signs had all improved. The doctor wasn't sure but she though even Selmak seemed stronger.

"Good job, Sam," Daniel offered, resting his hand on hers and gently removing the device.

"I have clearance for your brother to come if you want to call him. Just two stipulations. He is to be guarded at all times, and one of you sits with him when he's with Jacob in case Dad starts talking in his sleep. You get him out of the room pronto if that happens," Jack told them.

An hour later Mark had arrived and Daniel and Teal'c both noticed the strain between the siblings. After a bit Daniel got Sam to take a break and walk down to get something to eat. That's when he got the whole story of her break-up with Pete and subsequent argument with her brother. Once back in the infirmary he was torn between going to have a talk with Jack who had retreated to his office, and staying to support Sam who really looked like she was holding on by a thread. It was Teal'c who finally made the move.

"Daniel Jackson, perhaps it would be best if Mr. Carter also took a break and got something to eat," he suggested, and when Mark looked like he would protest he stared him down almost daring him to disagree.

Soon it was just Teal'c and Sam at Jacob's bedside. "Colonel Carter, you seem extremely tired. Perhaps you should rest in a nearby bed. If there is anything you need I would be happy to attend to it for you," he offered.

Sam looked at Teal'c with weary eyes. After all that had happened in the past few days her walls of reserve were pretty much gone. Besides she knew she could trust Teal'c.

"I need Jack," she whispered.

And with those three words her life would change forever.

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TBC 


	2. Christmas 2005

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Christmas 2005

Sam woke up with a start, shaking the last of the dream away. 'Wow, I wonder what I ate to make me dream of that horrid Christmas a year ago,' she thought with a grimace.

She looked at the clock – 02:12. Something had woken her up. She turned and looked at the side of the bed where a warm body should be. Empty. With a frown she wiped the sleep from her eyes and reached for her robe and slippers. It didn't take a genius to know where her husband would be at this time of night. She crept across the hall and slowly opened the door and then stood drinking in the sight before her. If she had just woken from a Christmas nightmare, in front of her was her Christmas dream come true. Jack was sitting in the rocker giving a bottle to their six-day-old baby daughter, while humming some tune that only the two of them could make out. She watched him in silence as she remembered everything that had come after her admission to Teal'c.

Teal'c had simply nodded without a hint of censure and slipped away. Ten minutes later Jack was there, and Sam had simply folded in his presence like a balloon that had suddenly sprung a leak. Jack's arms were the only thing that had kept her from collapsing onto the floor in a puddle. The tears had come instantly. Everything she had been holding inside, some of it for years came flooding out. Jack didn't understand most of what she said as she sobbed, but he had gotten the general idea. Muddled into worries about her father and missing Janet and being tired of saving the world there had been two pertinent pieces of information. She had broken up with Pete, and she loved Jack. That had been enough for him.

Despite the security cameras he'd held her until she'd worn herself out. He didn't even blink when her brother came back in and found his sister wrapped in the General's arms, or when Jacob woke later to find Sam asleep in the bed next to him and Jack hovering protectively. Nor did he budge when he called Hammond to tell him of his decision to resign. He had to admit to being relieved when the President called him back with a compromise though. 

Six days later, after Sam had officially ended it with Pete and her father had left the infirmary and Mark had gone back home, Jack had announced that he was officially retiring, but staying on as the civilian head of the SGC. His first order of business had been to have a long private talk with Jacob Carter. His second had been to kiss Sam at midnight on New Year's Eve.

They spent the next month getting used to the idea that after eight years it was finally alright for them to admit to the feelings they shared, and another month having sex like they were eighteen again. Then one day Jack simply asked her what type of wedding she wanted, and two weeks later they were married in a simple ceremony in the gate room, and then having wrangled four days of downtime they headed to a friends condo in Vail for a short honeymoon.

Sam's pregnancy had been a surprise, but after the shock wore off they had both been positively beaming with joy, tempered with more than the normal concerns for a healthy pregnancy. But other than the trace of naquada in her bloodstream, Grace Emily O'Neill was perfectly normal.

As Sam stood and watched something alerted Jack to her presence and he looked up and smiled. "I didn't want to wake you," he apologized.

"I was having the oddest dream, reliving last Christmas. I'm glad I woke up," she confessed.

"That was a tough one," he agreed.

"But it ended well," she said with a fleeting smile.

"If I remember correctly, it ended with you sobbing your eyes out," Jack reminded her.

"But I was in your arms, so that was good," she amended.

"Hard to believe that was all only a year ago, so much has happened," Jack commented as he put Grace down in her crib.

"We had to make up for lost time," she reminded him with a grin. "Come back to bed, it's lonely without you."

"Sounds like a plan to me. Think Gracey will let us sleep in?" Jack asked.

"You can always dream," Sam told him.

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The end 


End file.
